Is it just me, or is making friends as an adult a super awkward process? If not for my husband and kids, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t stand a chance.
I’m a total introvert, and I’ve never been very good at, or frankly, very interested in seeking out new friends. I’m pretty sure I suffer from resting bitch face when in public. I remember being at a bar in college and a guy saying something along the lines of, “What’s the matter? You look like you don’t want anyone to talk to you.” To which I said, “you’re very perceptive” and walked away. I’m guessing he never used that line again. Honestly, it’s a miracle I ever met anyone.
I don’t think I’m an asshole, at least not all the time, I just am absolutely no good at small talk. It makes me so uncomfortable. My knowledge of current events, music, etc. leaves a lot to be desired. And my “comedic” timing isn’t generally on the mark. I’m much better at deep meaningful conversations that last into the wee hours. And, it’s hard to have those in the stands of a little league game, or when you run into a neighbor while you grab the paper. I think that’s why this adult friends thing has been hard.
Thankfully I married an extrovert. And, he knows everyone. Literally remembers ever name, is great at small talk, the hilarious life of the party. I feel like between him and the kids, I’m at least thrust into situations where I have no choice but to try to work past the acquaintance phase into being friends. We’ve met some awesome people, and been able to build a really great community.
I’m glad Craig and the kids have afforded me the opportunity to really get to know some new people. But, I still get sick to my stomach about the social events that involve more than one or two other couples, or, worse yet, the ones Craig and the kids aren’t invited to, the women-only events. I still can’t bring myself to walk into a room full of women I don’t know and socialize. I need my buffer (Craig) and my exit strategy (the kids).
And, when that fails, I’ve decided to go with blunt honesty in social situations, “I’m totally antisocial, I drink a lot and I curse like a sailor. So, there’s that.” I figure it’ll all come out at some point, and I’m too old for the wooing phase. So, wanna do this or not?