I’m a Terrible Friend

I don’t remember birthdays. I forget anniversaries, even though I was in the wedding. I go weeks, even months without calling, texting, emailing. And I expect nothing more in return from my friends. They have kids, jobs, husbands, errands, etc. Commitments, tons of commitments. And I don’t want our friendship to be another “commitment” they need to worry about. It’s here for them when they need it.

I have the most incredible friends. I’d walk through fire for them and know they’d do the same for me. We go months without talking or seeing one another and immediately pick up right where we left off. I have friends in other states, that I’m lucky to see once a year. But those visits aren’t about guilt over not making the time, instead they’re about enjoying each other when we can, and giving support and encouragement when it’s needed (over cocktails and good food, of course).

When Nathan went to his first day of 3rd grade, I tearfully realized that on my first day of 3rd grade, I’d met two girls who would ultimately become my lifelong friends. I still remember what I was wearing (an aqua jump suit and coordinating moon shaped earrings). It was my first day at a new school, and I was so nervous. Little did I know that on that day, at that school, my life would change. I’d meet two people that would make my life better, richer, happier, easier for years to come.

We’ve celebrated together on our best days and cried together on our worst days. We’re far more than friends, we’re family. Family is always there, unconditionally. We support each other in ways no one else can, with no guilt or judgement, just love and understanding. I’m a shitty friend, but I think I make pretty good family.

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